May 27

A History and Review Vitamix Vita-Prep 3

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Working in a Professional Kitchen—Your Tools Are Everything. Here’s Our Review of the Vitamix Vita-Prep 3

With all the different technologies and tools available for restaurants and professional kitchens these days—it can be hard to spot the ones worth your investment. To help you narrow in on the best blender worth the cost, we’re here to review the Vitamix Vita-Prep 3.

Synopsis

Cost: $500

Rating: 4 out of 5 fucking stars

Details: A must-have in professional kitchens

The Birth of Vitamix

Vitamix was founded when America was great again. By the late 1940s, we’d won the war by inventing freedom, but America was just getting started. We had something even more impactful and earth-shattering to invent: the infomercial.

Vitamix founder William G. “Papa” Barnard brought his revolutionary blender to television audiences, setting the stage for everything from the Snuggie to Shamwow to Presidential candidate debates on Fox. With his overpowered blender and the narcotizing effects of television, Vitamix became the standard in blending technology for a generation.

This Blender is Built Like a Tank

The blenders themselves have only improved since those halcyon days. The current iteration, the Vita-Prep 3, is built like a tank. It’s clearly designed with the professional kitchen in mind. With 2 switches and a knob, the controls are straightforward enough that even the extern can figure it out.

Its 3hp engine (that’s only 1hp less than a Toyota Yaris) is powerful enough to blend anything to smithereens within a few seconds. Just turning it on can cause the lights to blink like the governor forgot to call the jailhouse.

Even better is the almost deafening white noise it creates when in action. For best results, wait until the General Manager is on the phone trying to get the dietary restrictions down for tonight’s big top reservation.

Once he gets to the part about the gluten allergies, let it rip: VROOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM. That right there makes it worth the price of admission.

Easy Repairs

Since this is an industrial blender, it’ll need the occasional servicing. That’s the best part. Whereas other brands are meant to be tossed upon breaking, the Vita-Prep 3 is easily repaired. If it’s still under warranty, just pack it up and ship it off to Vitamix for free repairs. According to their site, they can repair machines up to 20 years old if they have the parts.

A Must-Have for Professional Kitchens

In conclusion, 4 out of 5 stars. One star is withheld because it only blends clockwise, even in the southern hemisphere.

The Vitamix Vita-Prep 3 is a must-have for any professional kitchen. In fact, if you work in a kitchen without one, you should probably consider looking for a new job. Let me help you with that.

If you already have one, make a puree and give a little thanks to Papa Barnard.


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About the author

Some say Jack Hott was born in a restaurant. Others say he wasn’t born at all but discovered behind a Hobart stand mixer. Wherever he comes from, he’s made a career out of only being a good enough employee to skate by in the restaurant industry since the mid-90s. Jack Hott, if that’s even his real name, has gotten lost in walk-ins, stared into the abyss of pizza ovens, spilled red wine on white linen tablecloths, and shaken cocktails he was supposed to stir. If you can find him on social media, for your own safety, please do not follow him.

About the author

Some say Jack Hott was born in a restaurant. Others say he wasn’t born at all but discovered behind a Hobart stand mixer. Wherever he comes from, he’s made a career out of only being a good enough employee to skate by in the restaurant industry since the mid-90s. Jack Hott, if that’s even his real name, has gotten lost in walk-ins, stared into the abyss of pizza ovens, spilled red wine on white linen tablecloths, and shaken cocktails he was supposed to stir. If you can find him on social media, for your own safety, please do not follow him.

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