From Traylor’s Love Story to Robots Throwing Salad Greens, Here’s WTF Is Happening in November
It’s almost Thanksgiving! Honestly, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It’s the one time of year a family gathers to eat until they’re disgusted with themselves and then settle into staring at their phones rather than continuing to make conversation.
Each generation even has its own social media platform. Grandparents are catching up on the latest conspiracy theories on Facebook; parents are liking other parents’ kid pics on Instagram; and their kids are learning about how civilizations crumble on TikTok. It’s a beautiful thing, multi-generational dysfunction.
Enjoy these moments while you can. Soon, it’ll be all Christmas shopping and snow and unplowed roads and reservations for large parties and all the winter bedlam.
So keep your spirits up and get ready for WTF is happening this week!
But will she change her last name to MaAuto? Taylor Swift and Travis Kelse’s romance continues to grow, giving hope that ordinary guys just need to win two Super Bowls to get a girl’s attention. The couple was last spotted at her concert in Argentina, where Swift’s presence reportedly boosted the local economy. Stars! They’re just like us!
“At Sweetgreen, the robot shoots greens such as kale into a salad bowl…” Sweetgreens announced its move to using salad-making robots in its new stores. According to press reports, the soulless machines can produce over 500 bowls an hour, enough to feed the pesky humans who insist on at least one meal a day. Afterward, the humans will also shoot greens and kale into a bowl…
But meanwhile, the robots are losing ground. Multiple retailers are either removing or “dialing back” their self-checkout systems. Grocers like Walmart and Costco are not seeing the benefits of robot checkers. Instead, self-checkout systems have led to higher rates of “shrink,” a term referring to all the things I can fit into my pockets while buying nothing but a banana. The retailers also cite low customer satisfaction and high customer frustration as unidentified items appear in the bagging area.
What do Nebraska, pancakes, my car’s front passenger tire, and inflation have in common? They’re all flat. Inflation held steady at 3.2% for October, a sign that the government is finally getting inflation under control. Cheaper gas contributed the most to easing inflation, while food and rent still ticked up slightly. While still above the Federal Reserve Bank’s target rate of 2%, we’re clearly down from the peak rate of 9.1%.
Assistant TO the Regional Manager. No matter what we do, the 2024 election is coming to collect its $2. And if you get that reference, you’re likely not paying much attention to the Republican Party Presidential Debates. Actually, no… check that. No one is paying attention to the Republican Party Presidential Debates. Too bad because there’s so much substance being discussed.
Speaking of politics, it’s almost time for Thanksgiving dinner! With a predicted 55.4 million expected to travel for Thanksgiving this year, it’s going to be a busy time for the hospitality industry. While some of you are hoping to have time off with your families, some of you are scrambling to make sure you can be “busy with work” to avoid time off with your families. Me? I’m planning on going to dinner with my close and distant relatives, and whenever someone asks when I’m going to finally settle down and have my own family, I’ll change the subject and ask, ‘So, who’s everyone voting for?’