From Crime and Punishments to the Remnants of a 75 Million-Year-Old Meal, Here is WTF is Happening in December.
Christmas is, somehow, already here, which means that the end of the year is not far behind. Cue an anxiety attack because I am now processing that 2019 was five years ago!
Holidays are a whirlwind in the service industry! They can mean never-ending doubles, wild company parties, and high-stress situations. It’s the busiest time of year, but the tip-outs will be worth it. If on the 8th night of doubles, you do get a disgruntled customer, just remember that customers are like Christmas lights—half of them aren’t working, and the other half aren’t so bright.
Get ready to troll the Yuletide because ‘tis the season to read WTF is happening so far this month.
DC restaurant bought a $10k glass crusher to turn wine bottles into plates.
A sustainability-obsessed restaurant in Washington DC that makes candles from filtered cooking oil and prints menus on recycled paper with pollinator wildflower seeds is now turning its weekly collection of empty wine bottles into plateware! Working with the same studio that created their ceramic plates– ironically, they have gone through 30-40 versions before settling on the right ones. The rejects will continue to live on the dining room floor as decor and bases for planters. Who will work harder, the glass crusher or the Sommelier trying to sling more bottles to keep up?
That bowl flew fast, but karma is faster!
Videos of a woman berating a Chipotle worker and then throwing food in her face at close range went viral after the incident. The 39-year-old mother of four pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor assault charge over a burrito bowl. As for the punishment, the judge gave her the choice between a 90-day jail sentence or a 30-day sentence on top of 60 days working in a fast food job where she will learn the hard truths of the customer always being right. She has yet to find a job.
I’m not a normal lemonade. I’m a charged lemonade.
The untimely death of two Panera customers is tragic under any circumstances, but both have been linked to the Charged Lemonade. Now Panera is under fire because many people have gotten sick from the drink. It contains a fuck ton of caffeine, a whopping 390mg for a 30-oz cup, and was not properly labeled as such. So, to prep for your Christmas Eve-eve double clopen, just run over to Panera for some cheap crack to help you get through it.
Good morning, Bread Heads!
Seems like a lot of celebrities lately have wanted a piece of the restaurant industry pie. Bradley Cooper and his Philly Cheesesteak food cart, Danny and Coop’s, did a pop-up in NYC over the weekend. The Sexiest Man Alive in 2011 has never been hotter as videos of Coop wiping sweat off his brow while manning the flat top inside a tiny food cart were all over the internet. Celebs, they’re just like us!
Plowing for Pizza
Get your mind out of the gutter. This isn’t the new “Netflix and chill”. Domino’s announced a $500k program to enhance winter road conditions in 20 cities across the country. The Domino’s website states that consumers can nominate their zip codes, and they will dole out up to $25k. What better way to highlight local government infrastructure incompetencies than by having a pizza chain fill potholes and plow roads for your town? Domino’s is stepping up its game by innovating its business model to include free emergency pizzas for folks with student loans, customizing delivery cars with warming ovens, and pinpoint delivery technology. Pizza Hut, what’s your move?
A TRex last meal
Around 75 million years ago, a teenage dinosaur ate its last meal. By a stroke of geological luck, sediments from the river rapidly covered the dinosaur and its dinner from decay. The fossil is the first tyrannosaur skeleton ever found with stomach contents still preserved inside! Not looking forward to the day people find 8 stale french fries I ate off the pass and a Luna bar perfectly preserved in mine.
