Loading Posts...

April Horoscope for Restaurant Workers

april horoscope

With Mars rising, April is a month of rapid changes. Seek guidance and preparation from your April horoscope to stay afloat in the testy waters to come.

The ever charitable galaxy tells the story of our fates within the threadwork of the April stars. With a triumvirate of Mars rising, a new moon cycle and the Sun’s journey across the celestial equator – powerful forces are at play, awakening Fortune’s Wheel into rapid movement, swiftly spinning some into her favor, and others plummeting into misfortune. Consult your April Horoscope to see what’s in store for you in the Restaurant Industry this month.

Aries
Your peers tend to look up to you Aries. The passion and commitment that is reflected in the food you create is awe-inspiring. But this month beware of letting all your admirers get to your head. A dose of humility is just what the doctor ordered as the stars predict you will cross paths with the most challenging customers known to man: a group of 5-year old children and their trend-following, diet-restricting, leash-training parents.

Taurus
Don’t get your hopes up for getting the week of Coachella off – it’s predicted that Lisa will use bribery to get the last remaining co-workers to cover her shifts so that she can get the time off because someone invited her to tag along last minute — even though she knows you’ve been waiting all year for this and even though she always calls in sick and never does her side work and clearly knows nothing about the line-up. And while you promise yourself you’ll never pick up another shift of hers again, come the end of April she will call in sick and you will be forced to work anyways.

Gemini
With the Spring equinox in full swing and Jupiter on the Descendant, you will find many of the co-workers you befriended over the winter months slowly moving away from you. Perplexed, you might internalize this phenomenon and think it’s something you said. But you see, it’s not your personality that’s pushing them away. While I’m reading your stars I’m also picking up something… earthy. No really, buy some deodorant or I don’t know…try a shower for once? The days are only getting warmer Gemini.

Cancer
As Mars has entered the house two doors on the left, you will find yourself in tip top shape, everything is in order at work and you and your team are all ready to release the new Spring Menu. All you need is that one delivery to have all the ingredients prepped and ready to launch. Unfortunately, your food purveyor fucked up the order and forgot to get you a few essential items that at this point will take weeks to bring in. You now have to improvise and come up with a few new dishes on your (what was perfect) Spring Menu with a couple of all nighters in between.

Leo
Your mom’s birthday is coming up, and while you “asked for it off” you will be scheduled anyway… No worries Leo, your mom just called your boss to make sure they can get it covered for you because you’re her baby. Have fun at work tonight.

Virgo
Saturn moving into retrograde brings forth awkward times for you Virgo. You never expect the need to have this conversation, but every year you end up having it, and then fucking it up. As it happens, people get used to their own smell and don’t realize they have horrific body odor when the weather gets warmer. But rather than completely humiliating Gemini this year, berating them for their lack of hygiene, why not try breaking it softer? You know, step out of your comfort zone. No need to be the asshole you are all the time — jeesh.

Libra
This month, be careful of those who are negligent. It’s likely with the new moon cycle that Lisa is going to spill her water pitcher in the kitchen (again), proceed to use the nearest dish towel (which is the one you use as oven mitts) to sop it up and then place that (now) wet towel back where she found it — all without saying a word. If you don’t already know what I’m predicting then you deserve the pain.

Scorpio
Your time has come Scorpio, you are ready for a job change. You’ve been working at the same Restaurant for around three years now and some exciting new openings will become enticing to you. Unfortunately, the day you build up the courage to give your two weeks notice, Lisa will finally get fired (for calling in sick one too many times) which puts you in an awkward situation because now the restaurant is extremely short staffed and your manager will make it really hard for you to leave.

Sagittarius
Now that you’ve been promoted to Server, you can’t help but be your Sagittarius self and now feel envious of the bussers who work less hours and have more opportunity to take time off. Perhaps you became a server too soon and should have waited till after the summer? Don’t worry too much Sagittarius — knowing you, the grass is always greener on the other side and you probably wouldn’t be happy either way.

Capricorn
Your crushtomer is coming to dine next week — and you will finally muster up the courage to drop off a complimentary dish from the kitchen with the full intention of starting up a conversation. Unfortunately some ice was left on the floor and the server responsible was too lazy to pick it up. You will slip on this ice causing you to fall and spill the complimentary dish right before your crushtomer’s chair. On the bright side, he/she now knows you exist and will never be able to erase the image of your face as you fell straight into the ground.

Aquarius
One of your most reputable traits is your ability to really connect with your emotions Aquarius (which is why many of your jaded coworkers just don’t understand you), but on Saturday April 20th when table 4 leaves their dog leashed up outside, try your hardest not to get wrapped up in what you think the dog might be feeling. If you let yourself get caught up in this situation, food will die in the window, customers’ main courses will arrive before their drinks, and your manager will judge you.

Pisces
Your work is blowing up Pisces — you are working in one of the busiest spots in your town right now which is great for your resume and your wallet, but perhaps not your fingers? There will be a particularly busy Friday night coming up and you will be stuck behind the bread counter. Make sure you pay special attention to where your fingers are as you’re frantically slicing loaf after loaf. Your April horoscope keeps showing me a need for bandages and a bread knife. Also, remind your manager that the first aid kit still needs to be replenished since John’s accident with the mandolin two months ago.

Ashley Lange

Ashley Lange likes to cook, loves to bake and is always day-dreaming of her next meal. Ashley has spent the last 10 years in various roles within the food industry and is currently a server in Portland, Oregon.

Loading Posts...