From microchipped cheese to Twinkies around the world, here’s WTF is happening in September.
Fall is around the corner, with all its autumnal splendor. As the leaves burst forth with color and marketing firms turn to AI to sell pumpkin spice to all humans, we’re contemplating how to change for the better. This could finally be the season when I quit letting YouTube make video recommendations and learn to bake. Maybe I’ll finally volunteer at a food bank or donate to charity. The important thing, though, as we watch the leaves fall, is to think about how to go into Fall, survive the Winter, and bloom in Spring.
No matter what it is you want to do, have a plan. As part-time Yankees catcher and full-time philosopher Yogi Berra once said: “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going because you might not get there.”
And now, plan to sit back, sip some pumpkin spice, and enjoy WTF for September 2023
The cheese is a lie. To prevent counterfeiting, Italian cheese makers are inserting microchips into the rinds of their Parmesan cheese wheels. The microchips, each the size of a grain of salt, are scanned to provide wholesalers with a secure way to trace the cheese wheels back to their source. A word to conspiracy theorists: So close! All this time, you were looking for Big Parma…
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. The house used for exterior shots for The Brady Bunch sold for 3.2 million dollars. It was acquired by HGTV in 2018, but the network’s attempt to “flip” the house resulted in a 9% loss. The buyer, a collector of unusual homes, plans to use it for charity events. Speaking of charity, does anyone have a Wall Street Journal subscription they’re willing to share?
It’s peanut butter jelly time. Smuckers, which also owns Jiff Peanut Butter, has purchased Hostess, makers of the delectable snack cakes known as Twinkies, for a cool $5.6 billion. According to my calculations, that’s the equivalent of 1,517,615,176 Twinkies, enough to circle the earth twice if laid end to end. As of the writing of this article, no plans have been announced on when this project is to begin. Stay tuned!
Apple is about to drop a new iPhone. Apple is widely expected to show off its latest version of its ubiquitous iPhone this week. Just in time, too, since I just dropped my old iPhone. Hopefully, this latest update will have an option for a pre-cracked screen to save me the trouble.
India’s moon probe completes its mission. India’s moon probe has successfully landed and explored the lunar surface. It’s currently in sleep mode until its solar panels are once again exposed to the light of the sun on Sept 22. Its primary mission is to search for water on the moon. Unrelated, it’s rumored that Elon Musk is in talke to buy all the Gatorade Water. Like all of it.
