January 14

Leading a Restaurant Team Through Heavy Times (Without Going Cold)

Hospitality managers donโ€™t have to ignore hard headlines – but they also canโ€™t let them sink the shift. The goal is to lead with humanity: acknowledge what people are carrying, set a steady tone, and build small systems that make work feel doable.

The โ€œwinโ€ is not pretending everythingโ€™s fine. Itโ€™s saying:

โ€œI see you. Weโ€™re here together. And weโ€™re going to get through today.โ€

The news feels heavy right now.

โ€ฆand for a lot of restaurant workers, itโ€™s not just โ€œin the background.โ€ Itโ€™s in their bodies. People are showing up to work stressed, distracted, and bracing for the next awful headline. For a lot of people working in hospitality, the bad news isnโ€™t just โ€œsomething happening out there.โ€ It rides along in the background all day – fear, grief, anger, anxiety, exhaustion. Then they show up to work, tie on an apron, and are expected to smile.

At the same time, restaurants and hospitality businesses are still dealing with pressure that never seems to let up. Food prices are high. The cost of doing business keeps rising. Labor is still tight. A government shutdown might be looming. Nobody gets to pause service because the world is overwhelming.

So hereโ€™s the real question: How does a manager keep the business moving without feeling (or seeming) cold or uncaring? How do you lead a team through heavy times – when people are struggling – while still protecting the shift?

The answer isnโ€™t pretending everything is fine. Itโ€™s learning how to acknowledge what people are carrying while building a steady, safe structure inside your restaurant. Youโ€™re not responsible for fixing the world – but you can make work feel like one of the safer places in it.

1) The shift still has to happen – and that doesnโ€™t make you heartless

Thereโ€™s a version of leadership that looks like ignoring everything and demanding performance anyway. That kind of toughness tends to get praised in restaurants. But it comes at a cost: people start shutting down emotionally, or they quit, or they stop caring about the work because it feels like nobody cares about them.

Thereโ€™s another version of leadership that matters more right now: steadiness.

In hard times, keeping the restaurant running is not a betrayal of what people are feeling. In many ways, itโ€™s the opposite. A predictable shift. A fair schedule. A manager whoโ€™s calm. A team that has each otherโ€™s backs. Those are stabilizing forces when the world feels unstable.

Youโ€™re not cold for continuing to run service. Youโ€™re providing structure. And for some employees, that structure is exactly what helps them cope.

Try this: open pre-shift with one sentence of validation, then move into the plan.

You donโ€™t have to name every headline. You donโ€™t have to fix anyoneโ€™s emotions. Just acknowledge reality and set a steady tone:

โ€œI know itโ€™s been a heavy week. People are exhausted, and itโ€™s hard to focus sometimes. If anyone needs a minute tonight, tell me – weโ€™ve got you. Now letโ€™s walk through the game plan and have each otherโ€™s backs.โ€

Thatโ€™s the leadership move: human first, then structure.


2) Donโ€™t ignore the news – acknowledge it without letting it take over

Managers donโ€™t need to run a group therapy session before every shift. But complete silence can also feel like a message.

Employees notice when something terrible is happening in the world. If itโ€™s on everyoneโ€™s phone, itโ€™s in their conversations – and in their nervous systems. When management acts like it doesnโ€™t exist, people often hear: โ€œReal life stays at the door.โ€

Thereโ€™s a better middle path: a quick acknowledgment that respects what people are carrying without handing the shift over to it. Something as small as 20 seconds can change how safe the room feels.

Try a simple opener like this:

  • โ€œI know thereโ€™s been a lot going on. If your head isnโ€™t totally in it today, I get it.โ€
  • โ€œIf you need a quick reset at any point, tell me – weโ€™ll cover you.โ€
  • โ€œLetโ€™s take care of each other and get through this shift together.โ€

Thatโ€™s it. Youโ€™re not making it political. Youโ€™re not forcing anyone to speak. Youโ€™re simply signaling: โ€œYouโ€™re not alone – and youโ€™re safe here.โ€

Once you do that, it becomes easier to lead the room into the work itself – because people donโ€™t feel like they have to hide what theyโ€™re carrying.


3) Build micro-safety into the shift (because emotional support needs structure)

When people are overwhelmed, they donโ€™t just need kind words. They need permission and systems. This is where good hospitality management shines: you create the conditions for people to succeed even when theyโ€™re not at 100%.

Think of it like this: we already build systems for physical safety (hot pans, sharp knives, wet floors). Emotional overwhelm is real too – it can cause mistakes, burnout, conflict, and even panic attacks. You donโ€™t need to label it. Just build support around it.

Here are a few small practices that are quietly powerful:

  • Pre-shift grounding: 60 seconds. One breath together. A quick โ€œHowโ€™s everyone feeling?โ€ and โ€œWhat do you need from the team tonight?โ€
  • Permission to step off the floor: normalize two-minute breaks. Not as a luxury – as part of staying sharp.
  • No-shame coverage plan: assign a โ€œbuddyโ€ system so someone can step out without the shift collapsing (cover drinks, cover host stand, run food for two minutes).

When people know thereโ€™s a plan, they feel safer. And when they feel safer, they work better.

Managers donโ€™t need to be therapists. They need systems.


4) Replace toughness with steadiness

A lot of managers learned leadership through stress. When it gets busy, they tighten up. They bark orders. They try to control everything. It comes from good intention – we need to survive service – but it creates the wrong emotional environment when people are already stressed.

Steadiness is different. Itโ€™s not softness. Itโ€™s a form of strength.

If your team is overwhelmed, your job is to become the calmest nervous system in the room.

That means:

  • giving clear directions
  • holding boundaries respectfully
  • prioritizing what matters
  • not escalating emotion

A line worth remembering is: calm is contagious – and so is chaos.

Your tone will become the tone of the shift.


5) Can work become a safe place to escape headlines? Yes – if you design it that way

A restaurant canโ€™t shelter people from reality forever. But it can offer a few hours where the world quiets down. That can be deeply healing – and it can happen without forcing positivity or pretending everything is fine.

This is where hospitality becomes something bigger than the job.

Work becomes a refuge when the culture says:

โ€œFor the next few hours, weโ€™re here together. The world can wait.โ€

Simple things help this happen:

  • Encourage phones down during service (including managers).
  • Use music intentionally – a real mood reset before shift.
  • Make family meal feel like a moment, not a rushed inhale.
  • Celebrate small wins and teamwork, not just sales numbers.

When it comes to โ€œput your phone away during your shiftโ€ commands: remember that this is not about you drawing their attention to work – this is a real life suggestion on how to reduce stress – we both know much of what theyโ€™ll see on their phone is designed to make them angry and stressed (no matter what side of the political spectrum they sit on).

Not every employee will want to talk about headlines. Many would rather not. But everyone benefits from an environment where the shift feels stable, not emotionally hostile.


6) Support doesnโ€™t have to cost money

In a perfect world, every restaurant would offer full benefits and mental health support. But managers know the reality: margins are tight, and it can feel like thereโ€™s no room for anything extra.

The good news is: some of the most supportive moves cost nothing – they just require attention.

Things like:

  • schedules posted earlier
  • fewer last-minute surprises
  • clear sidework expectations
  • fair sections
  • stepping in when a guest crosses the line
  • thanking people with specificity (โ€œYou handled that table beautifully.โ€)

That kind of leadership tells employees:

โ€œYou matter here. Youโ€™re not disposable.โ€

And honestly? Thatโ€™s what many workers are craving most right now regardless of whatโ€™s going on in the world.


7) Know whatโ€™s above your pay grade – and still show up

This part matters.

Managers are not therapists. You cannot fix grief, trauma, financial stress, or fear. And you shouldnโ€™t try to carry everyone emotionally – thatโ€™s how managers burn out and become numb.

But you can still be present.

A strong manager response can be as simple as:

โ€œThat sounds really hard. Do you want a minute? Weโ€™ve got you.โ€

If someone is clearly not okay, you can gently encourage help outside work. If your company offers an EAP or any counseling resources, share them. If itโ€™s a crisis moment, be direct and supportive.

Holding boundaries doesnโ€™t make you uncaring. It makes you sustainable.

Final Thought: Hospitality leadership matters more than ever

You canโ€™t control the headlines. You canโ€™t fix the economy. You canโ€™t stop fear from entering peopleโ€™s lives.

But you can control what it feels like to walk into your restaurant.

You can make it a place where people feel safe, supported, respected, and steady – even if itโ€™s only for a few hours at a time. And that kind of leadership has ripple effects: better retention, better teamwork, fewer blowups, fewer sick days, better guest experience.

In a world that feels unpredictable, a good manager becomes something rare: a stable place to land.

Hospitality is not just food. Itโ€™s stability, dignity, and care.

For your guests, and for your team, that matters now more than ever.

Hospitality-focused organizations like Benโ€™s Friends (peer support) and the Southern Smoke Foundation (no-cost counseling and crisis support) exist for a reason. Others include Not 9 to 5 and The Burnt Chef Project, which offer resources and community specifically for food and beverage workers. Even just normalizing those options – and reminding your team that itโ€™s okay to ask for help – can be one of the most meaningful things you do this year.

About the author

Jakup Martini

Jakup is a skilled mixologist, cook and writer. Of course by "skilled" we mean enthusiastic and by "mixologist" we mean: he drinks. Sometimes when he drinks he also writes blogs for Poached...


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