November is here, and the stars have spoken. Find out what your November horoscope has in store for you.
Mercury is in retrograde, Mars and Pluto have taken the spotlight in the Scorpio season, and the horoscope progression is nearing a re-birth as Earth makes its way through the final degrees of orbit around the sun. With this November Horoscope, contemplation is a necessary tool in learning patience, needed by all this coming month.
With this November horoscope, pay close attention to meanings and interpretations as you will need guidance through the start of this holiday season.
Aries
With the fortune of increased business, be wary of the costs. Concentrate on finding peace within the chaos. Your line crew depends on it, your prep crew depends on it, and keeping all your fingers depends on it.
Taurus
The end of Daylight Saving Time awakens a keen awareness of the impracticalities of this world, like gluten intolerance and the Keto diet.
Gemini
Envision transcribing your annoyance into a letter, sealing it up in a bottle, throwing that bottle of emotion into an ocean, only for it to return at a later date in some toxic way — like taking your anger out on the customers who will arrive 5 minutes to closing later tonight.
Cancer
As we move into the holiday season, your wallet will surely grow, but remember a greedy cat gives up the sense of satisfaction.
Leo
Remember that the healthiest of people bleed, shit, and die like the rest of us. Take it easy on yourself, enter the coming holidays with a YOLO mindset.
Virgo
This is the time to channel foresight and to trust no one. Begin making all your fake plans for the holidays now, so when your coworkers begin to fish for opportunities where you might be able to cover for them, you are prepared with an excuse not to.
Libra
If life throws you lemons, lemonade will only be made if you have the foresight and creativity to turn an opportunity into an advantage. This November you will have an opportunity to make lemonade — either literally… or perhaps metaphorically. What I’m saying is you’ll be thirsty and need vitamin C.
Scorpio
This November, see things as they really are. A religious pamphlet left in lieu of a tip is not a higher calling, it’s just a shitty excuse not to tip.
Sagittarius
You will be scheduled two doubles in a row with that one coworker who loves to remind you that, “If you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean” — like no one in the restaurant industry has ever heard this stupid phrase to passive aggressively call out laziness.
Capricorn
Healthy delegation is the key to getting what you want. Constantly doing everything yourself will never teach Pisces how to setup the fucking line properly for the closing crew.
Aquarius
No one’s going to believe you got food poisoning on Thanksgiving — consider going with your grandmother died again.
Pisces
Your time spent contemplating whether fish have thoughts and feelings in the cooler is compromising your ability to do your job; Capricorn has noticed.
