August marks the last month of summer — what do the stars have in store for you in these final days?
As the last full month of summer weighs on us, we must sit back and consider the present. This August there is no time for the past nor the future, but in its place is a calming sense of being — an insightful grasp of our shared existence in which each fleeting moment is collected within the large communal unknown.
In this month’s horoscope, we focus on the present day restaurant worker.
Aries
Today, a customer will make it known that they are very special because they make six figures and have a $15,000 Rolex in response to you asking if they’d like to start a tab.
Taurus
With Leo in the spotlight and Virgo on the horizon, don’t be surprised when Virgo calls in sick and you end up pulling a 14-hour shift in the kitchen today, the hottest day of summer. If those visions start up again, drink more water.
Gemini
Next Friday you will be promoted to working the line, or you’re going to get a flat tire on your way into work… it could go either way.
Cancer
There’s a new GM in town, and she’s bringing in a newer, fancier POS system. You need to put your breathing practice into action as your anxieties about the apocalypse and technology taking over the restaurant industry are not coming true… yet.
Leo
Forgetting your work shoes is not a great start to a first day… keep your head in the game.
Virgo
Next week will mark the 105th time that you’ve explained to a customer that when they leave their drink unattended it’s their own damn fault if it gets bussed. It’s probably a good time to take a day for yourself; sometimes you have to put yourself before others.
Libra
You may or may not be in a situation today where you find yourself under very lucky or possibly unfortunate circumstances regarding the air conditioning and/or a busy rush.
Scorpio
You’re generally self-thinking, but the heat is getting to all the signs this month. My advice is to take a step back and consider consequences before following along with anything your co-workers suggest as a good idea.
Sagittarius
Your ability to maintain a composed self in the presence of stupidity is a virtue. Keep that in mind as a customer sends their food back claiming your medium is actually “rare.”
Capricorn
If you’re wondering what that smell is, it’s you.
Aquarius
Question your sensitivities this August. Does it truly matter if that asshole customer squirted ketchup all over the table for no reason? Probably. But is it worth losing your job over? Depends on the day. At least you’re thinking about it.
Pisces
You will experience your first existential crisis next week while gutting a fish for the weekly special.
